the pukes

the pukes are the worst.  little leah got so sick with them  one day last week.  and i thought we were in the clear until i got a call from the school this afternoon telling me that grady had been puked on and could i please come get him?  gross!! so i did, but funny thing was, he looked super pale. and when i asked him who it was that threw up on him he said he didn't know his name.  and then when i told him to get in the shower and wash his hair twice, (yep it was in his hair) he barely made it upstairs in time before i heard him getting sick in the toilet.  thing was, today was his first soccer practice.  and he didn't want to miss it.  he's been looking forward to this day for 6 weeks.  poor boy. then he told me that "his friend" told him that sometimes when you don't want to throw up and try to hold it in your mouth with your hands that it kinda explodes and can even get in your hair..... so gross, so sad, so bad of him to lie about it! so as i'm sitting down here with him asleep on the couch with the biggest bowl we own next to him on the floor, he started talking in his sleep.  and he was sleep talking/praying, "thank you that we can be safe, thank you that we can have a good day...mumble mumble, amen".  then he opened his eyes and smiled at me and took a sip from his water bottle that he tied a yellow balloon to so that he'd be able to find it easy, rolled over and went back to sleep.  oh i love him so much.

a private blog?

i'm thinking lately i should probably make my blog private....?  should i?  i know i would write a lot more and a lot more openly if it was private, but i can't decide.  anyway, tara and heather, it think you two are are the only ones who read this, so put down your stuff so if i do i can add you to my list.  and if there is anybody else out there who reads this and would still want too, put your stuff down too:) i'm saying "stuff"  cause i really don't know what you have to "put down" but probably everybody else in the world does.  i think the reason i haven't done this is just because i get so sad when i find out someones blog is private and that old from from high school/college just kind of disappears for me and it makes me so sad. maybe thats why the rest of the world is on facebook/instagram huh?  anyway, if anybody sees this and wants to read these random ramblings of mine ever, put down your stuff and if nobody does then i guess i won't have to worry anyway!:) cool

dee doe

there are all these little things i think i won't ever ever forget about my kids, and then i do!  last weekend i took grahamy and leah out to see the birds and leah found a stick and handed it to me and started singing, "dee doe, dee doe" and wanted me to join in and i just couldn't figure out what she was doing.  Then i remembered that the last time we had been out there on a walk, a month before, we had picked up sticks and carrying them along like our staffs had sang the song from peter pan, "following the leader the leader the leader, following the leader wherever he may go.  dee doe, dee doe, dee doe diddy doe, dee doe"  then she picked up her little stick and marched down the board walk singing just as loud as she could.  and if she wasn't holding her stick she needed to hold my hand. but not my whole hand, just my ring finger on the right and my pointer finger on the left. and every time i held her hand she'd tell me "sanks" (thanks) in a quiet little voice.

graham used to always say, "just a tine-a bit" (tiny bit) when he wanted something.  can i just have a tine-a bit of a nanna, peeeeease?" all the kid ever wanted was just a tine-a bit.  he always likes to have a plan these days.  he wants to know what's gonna happen at night time and tomorrow and next week and at least twice a week he asks if it's christmas yet and if santa "who is just so nice mom, he broughts us all presents!!!" is coming tomorrow maybe?  and when he talks about tomorrow he always has to say "in morning time, in morning time, in morning time is santa coming?" or whatever he's asking about, but he always says in morning time three times.  kinda like this funny little tick he has.  and he still says "amen" whenever we finish a book.

and maybe later i will write about the kid with a lisp who couldn't say his R's who told me the other day at the park how stupid my voice was.  i wanted to laugh and kick him at the same time.  some kids!

redeeming

its odd how kids go though so many different stages with their emotions.  sometimes it feels like one kid will be grumpy for a good 6 months and then one morning they wake up happy and the grumps are just gone. i've been thinking a lot about this lately and decided maybe its not just kids, maybe it's moms and dads too.  i swear though that one kid will finally get past a hard patch and another one who was so easy for so long will all the sudden become not so easy any more.  or the very worst, when 2 or 3 of them are grumpy at the same time, ahhhhh!

Anyway, not to rat out my poor kids, but graham has been in a funk lately and i don't really blame him, but he has these really redeeming moments.  and he's learning to "wescue and save!" people instead of shoot them dead, so that is a huuuuge improvement.  We've had lots of talks about how it's better to be a hero that saves people than a bad guy who shoots them.  Anyway (again), why i'm writing this is to remember what he said last night when we were cuddling.  He was all smiling and happy and he said, "ya know my heart is just soooo full of love."  and then gave that little graham grin with his eyes shut tight.  it's the same way he smiles when we puts something really yummy in his mouth too.  and then he said, "and my heart is also all full of little hearts!".  What a goose.  i love him.

we finally put up our trampoline again. "we" meaning brandon.  holy smokes trampolines are the very best thing in the whole world and also a little crummy.  i jumped with grady yesterday and laughed harder than i had in a long time.  his fish and zombie jumps made me have to take a bathroom break.  he gets funnier every week.  oh it felt good to laugh in the sunshine.  side note about sunshine - i like to eat my breakfast in the sunshine in the mornings.  it comes in our windows and i scoot right over to where it is and eat there on the floor in a ball and usually someone finds me and climbs on my back.  leah has decided she also likes to eat in the sunshine and sometimes will not eat anywhere but in the "shunshine" it's adorable and unnerving at the same time.  I put that trampolines are crummy because poor graham and leah got conked around like rag dolls sometimes and 75% of the time on the tramp is  spent laughing and 25% of the time is spent screaming.  leah calls it the "jumpaline".

sometimes when i don't want to decide who was right or wrong i tell grady and graham to wrestle it out.  graham's little determined face with his cheeks all red is one of the best things i've ever seen.  and as long as grady isn't too hard on him they end up laughing instead of fighting.  wonder how many more years that will work?

i've felt kinda flustered with clara lately and i started praying really hard about it and my prayers were immediately answered.  it blew me away.  It was like Heavenly Father was just waiting for me to offer that prayer because he so bad wanted to answer it.  it was amazing and i feel like i see this little girl in a different light and i am so so grateful for it.  me and clara are so much a like in ways that are hard sometimes and really different in ways that are hard too.  but i will keep praying and me and her are gonna be ok.  she is such a good good girl.

and thats all.

graham

graham is really 3 right now.  and for a while i wondered what was wrong with him and then i remembered that 3 isn't my very favorite age and one day he'll be 4 and everything will be ok again.  he growls and roars like a dinosaur or a lion or a tiger and shoots people dead all day long.  even typing those words makes me cringe.  all day "buddy we don't shoot people dead, that hurts so much and we don't hurt people right?"  "yes we do!" he growls and my heart shrivels and turns black cause how in the heck did I get a kid that even dares say the word "shoot"????? oh how it hurts admitting that.  ANYWAY....i still really like him, but the other night i was laying by him and when I lay by my kids they get a couple songs sung to them and then i get sleepy and they get a couple songs hummed to them and then i fall asleep and wonder where in the world my "get stuff done" time went.  so i was at the humming stage of the  night when i felt someone looking at me, you know how can just feel it even when your eyes are closed?  so i opened up one eye and graham was about 3 inches from my face staring at me with the sweetest little smile on his face.  so i smiled back and stuck my head in his neck and gave him kisses and asked him what he was smiling at and he says in this sleepy little smiley voice, "i'm smiling at you cause...... i just love you".  oh the swooning!!! what a boy.  totally melted me all over. redeemed for the day buddy.

Not all of us can do great things.  But we can all do small things with great love.

~Mother Theresa

fall 2014

We wanted so bad to get up to yellowstone this fall. But we needed to get our grass seed in first!  Brandon's mom and dad have a little cabin they have been remodeling, just outside of west yellowstone and we were antsy to get up and see it, but we weren't sure if we would make it before it got too cold. But right before a crazy windy rain storm one night, we finally got all the seed in and this plastic sheeting stuff down on top of it that helps it grow faster.  woohoo!

 And yellowstone was perfect.  Heaven must have been happy with us for some reason and shined down the most perfect, goldeny, 60 degree fall weather ever.  It was awesome.  We spent an afternoon at firehole river having a picnic all by ourselves!! Such a beautiful day.

 We stayed the night in Rexburg and on the way back down we drive to mesa falls.  I was in awe that we could be in Ashton Idaho, mid october and feel so warm.

 best cowboy hat clad girl ever.

 gray manned the camera that afternoon and took 700 pics.  Not sure what I'm laughing at in this picture, but I like it.

 Byron had to have surgery on a little skin cancer spot by his eye and had to have it covered for a while with an eye patch.  Soo we had a pirate party for him and to celebrate grahams birthday.

 pumpking picking.  I tried to be excited about going to the patch this year instead of having our own pumpkins to pick, but - there were lots of mosquito's.  and we spent $34.  :( but these pictures sure do look cute.

 he liked the heavy warty ones.

 and she liked sucking on her fingers

 she attacked velvet and hauled him around that time.

 kinda looks like i have a mustache in this one.

 remember how last year when we carved pumpkins that graham decided to take a bite and liked it?  This year it was leah's turn.  and she liked it too!

 He was a handsome little zombie skeleton.

 And she was a dia de los muertos lady.  very sophisticated of her.

 our pirate.  If you ever don't have a costume for a kid, make him a pirate.  easy and super cool and very fun to hear your 3 year old say "RRRRRR Matey!" at every door.

 The Jacksons came over and let us tag along for trick or treating.  And Mike wore this fake booty on his head all night:)

 Our neighbors the gunns.  These guys really are incredible.

 And someone nailed me in the head with a hatchet.  AHHHHH

 First time with piggies.  she hated 'em:)

 The first snow storm of the year and gray jetted out in him jammies and built a snow man without any gloves on.  it was pretty cute.

 Happy Birthday Babe.  You rock my whoooooole wide world.  that's why i made you that awesome pie:)

 we decided to stop at mesa falls again on the way up to get trees.  Crazy how much a place can change in 6 weeks! It was so beautiful in the snow and me and b reminisced about the time we went up there when we were dating and went cross country skiing.

and another graham/mom conversation for this post;  me: who is the most adorable 3 year old ever even though he acts like a scary dragon all day and pretends to eat his little sister? graham: "ummm... ME!"  yep.  he tells me he's a scary dragon and that i'm a happy cow:)

very favorite picture of the whole holiday.

For the first time since I've known the john clan, karen came with us!  the kids were so excited to have grandma there:)

It was sooo freezing cold and windy and snowy.  Karen and timmy took the little ones back to the truck and the big kids even got tired hiking through the knee deep snow after a while and we had to make a little base camp for them while me and b kept looking.  every few minutes gray would scream "MOOOOOOOOOM!  WHERE ARE YOOOOOUUUUUU?????"  and i would scream back and he would be satisfied for a little bit and then we would do it again.  But we found a tree before anyone was in tears so we felt accomplished.  And on the way back we happen to see a cafe sabore that had opened up in island park! gitty up for christmas trees and mexican food!